This Is Why I Always Have A Soft Spot For Creative Jobs (Like So Much!)

One of the most frequent question people throw to me is that how could I land myself in my current career? And I never have other answer than it just happens. But now I am getting know it.


I am actually confused of how surprised people knowing that I choose to eventually develop my self in a media and advertising field rather than jobs that relate with my former major, psychology. Because as I widen my networking, I become know that much of people experience the same thing;

Going further but faster out of their real paths.

And in my perspective, a bachelor psychology is much relate with any jobs that consist of human relationship, right?


But do you really want to know why I become madly in love with these whole different path career, which is in a creative industry field?

Because they appreciate people based on the talent and skill we have, not based on a shitty sheet thing that full of numbers and requirements that sometimes end up in a dustbin.


I might feel sorry of being sarcastic but this is true. And maybe, my college friends do feel the same.


It’s not that I have never been trying to grab a job in my major that mostly in Human Resources. I did, at a very time after I graduated. With a powerful spirit of pretension getting a settled job as at least recruitment staff. But believe it or not, with the Cumlaude title on my certificate, I could not even get a call out from a hundred resumes I sent. Wow, life is hard, I know.


Up until now, I still have no idea how they were not attracted with the numbers, the certificates, the achievements, the experiences that I cattered for them. Some say that it was because some companies are too scared to hire an over-qualified person. That was why I wasn’t sold well. And that is also why it still doesn’t make sense for me, at all.


Fortunately, I always have an eyes for media and journalistic since I was in a high school. I have been so active in a media event and have a dazzling interest in writing. So, I just tried making an attempt on that field. With my very poor and amateur writings, I applied for some magazines and advertising agencies company. And shockingly, out from five resumes that I sent, they all called me. Woah.


Attending their interviews, I had a time when it’s hard for me to decide which offer that I would take. Yes, I turned from someone who didn’t even have an appeal into the most wanted one (at least for those five companies). I chosed to join with an advertising agency which was a startup and worked for a year there.


Asking to the person who hired me, he said that he had a feeling I might have a talent to develop, regardless the zero experience I brought that time. The interesting part is that they didn’t even ask me which university I graduated. They didn’t care if I was an awardee of popular scholarship or if I was the best graduate of my program.

All they put an attention was only my writing and the willingness I had.


For some of you maybe think that this is unfair. But for me, this is how I feel like we are all being equal in a creative industry. It’s not your certificate numerical things or the university you were from that matter, but what you have in your creative mind and how you could bring it on for them. The other interesting point is that, at least in companies that ever hired me, they would spare a time and energy to train and develop your zero experience self if you could show them your high motivation.

It’s not like ‘I like your university and your qualifications, let’s work with me’ but more like ‘I know you have a talent and you want to improve, let’s work together’.

Once they have an instinct that you might be able to contribute a lot by being improved, they wouldn’t doubt to let you work with them.


But, I also have to admit that there are always a two-side coin of everything in this life, so does a creative jobs. Because the talent, skill, and ability are very considerable in this field, and also the wheel is always rolling, you can’t take a granted for the competitiveness. We are demanded to always open our mind, see our surrounding, and never feel enough of ourselves. To adjust with the expansion of era.

But that’s just how I still and will always a soft spot for this career field. What about you?


We’re Not A Mister Grey, We Don’t (Always) Aim To Please

Likes and loves button are just little things that could represent of how much we, a human being, are really a status seeker, an approval hunter, a social climber, and an applause hunger. The notification that come from our daily social medias is just a little image of how, sometimes or perhaps often, we do things based on what people might like or love.

And I could say, it could torture us.

I personally stop acting based on what people might expect from me. Why? Simply, I’m too tired to please people.

I’m not born as Grey that live with a motto: “We aim to please.”

I did. I once a person who was very people and relationship oriented. I tended to do anything, to sacrifice anything as long as people pleased and stay with me. Did it back breaking? So much. Did I try to survive? I did. Not until something bad came. The fact that not everyone whom we please would do the same thing to us. And it’s really invidious.

I should admit that most of time when I wrote something, I always thought whether people will read it, whether they will like it, whether they have a time to even take a look at it. And what was the result? I never literally heard my own mind. I wrote because I wanted an approval, not because I wanted to deliver my thoughts. And again, it’s really exhausting.

Also, I couldn’t lie that it was a social acknowledgment drove me to perform outstanding. I wanted to be seen as someone above average, mostly from my big family. I wanted them to see me because of the scholarship I got. It’s like a compensation for my previous failure. I wanted people to see me arising after falling. I hungered for their confession. And what did happen? I felt buried and sunk when they didn’t give me any of it.

I felt like I was never good enough just because they never see me.

Until I watched some successful people in some professions, such as an author. One of the most remarkable words I ever heard comes up from the author of A Fault in Our Stars, John Green. He said:

“Don’t try to write a novel for being famous or for getting a lot of money. Write it as a gift for your reader.”

That really strucks. And also from one of my favorite famous local writer who said, “Just write well. Don’t think that people will hate it or not,” she also quoted others’, “remember that you write because you want something that you can’t read anywhere.”

There, I started to notice something important. There, I stopped doing things because I seek for an applause or credits.

I write words not because I want them to agree with me, but as to they could understand what inside my mind. I decide something not because I want people on my side, but so that they could see the way I choose and not hampering. I do things not because I want people love me, but in order to let them see me the way I am, even if they perhaps hate me and remind me if I do a bad thing. I cut down a habit to give too much and keep my circle small so that I would know who the real ones and who are not.

In short, I try not to care a loves and likes any more, because people is just people, number is just number, and it’s only us who know which one is better for ourselves, it’s only us who will bear the consequence from the decision we take, and it’s not them. I try to think, I do kind things for my own good, not for other.


For Those Who Keep Asking: “Do You Feel Lost Because of Getting Out Your Real Root?”

I thought it was only a friend, but then came another persons asking that same question:

“How do you feel doing these things that so out of your real root? How do your family feel about you in this case?”

You know what, it seems that my life has been always unexpectedly out of script. In every way.



I never wished to be a writer.

I hated reading. So much. My mom had to push me hard just so that I wanted to open a page. I preferred watching Sailor Moon, Cardcaptor Sakura, Goosebumps, or Minky Momo as eating a french fries than enjoying my big brother’s comics. Spending money for books never crossed my mind. It was my big brother that had a huge intention on books. He was a book-arse. He knew Albert Einstein, Abraham Lincoln, Walt Disney, Wrights Brother better than anything in his age. Even he also versed Detective Conan well. My mom always rubbed me in how good we will be if we start falling in love with books and begin to read. But then nothing was changed. I was still a person who hated reading.


I wanted to be a skillful and famous guitarist.

My Chemical Romance and some local bands inspired me a lot. I used to argue and had a fight with my mom because I shamed into attending some band concerts when I was a teenager. And perhaps also because I had a relationship with some band folks. I started being a rebel. Like a real rebel. Going home late, trying to do this and that which were too early for a teenage girl. But then I still believed that becoming a band personnel would be the coolest thing in my life.


I wished I could be an astronaut. I don’t know why.

Probably after watching Armageddon, The Day After Tomorrow, and that so happening 2012 movie. I obsessed with the universe, the moon, the stars, the galaxies, and everything related to the space. I was always curious about how the lunar eclipse happens, how much time people need to get into the moon, how it is like living in the other planet roaming on the space craft, where I could find the Aurora Borealis and how it can happen. That time, my mom supported me. She’s actually always. But then, willingness I had was not enough. I was too dumb to understand physics and mathematics. Most of all, I hate numbers.


Then after my mom gone, it seemed that I was out of control, lost of direction. I didn’t know what I would to be. A musician? An astronaut?


I ended up being a sophist, someone who lost the vision.

I tried many tests from various universities with different majors, like architecture, interior design, oceanography, even the fact that I hate numbers, I also endured my self doing a physics test. I passed almost all those exams but I stupidly didn’t take anyone of it. Because I was a sophist. I didn’t know who I wanted to be and where I should go and what I wanted to do.


A year after that, I even took psychology major and found my self wanted to be a forensic psychologist. So randomly.

That time, there’s no extrinsic drives moved me. It was really me who wanted to be like that. That time, also there’s no thing dragged my feet. That time, there’s a lot of achievements and compliments along the study I got. I did best, I accomplished great, almost too outstanding. That perhaps, people think it’s too good to be true so that there’s no one really settled for me to work with. Somehow, I could only be a forensic psychologist after taking a post graduate study whose program isn’t available on scholarship yet. That means, it was not only about the skill and knowledge you need, but also the chance and of course money.


And here I am now, I don’t have any dream. I don’t wish to be any body. I don’t impose my self for achieving something. I don’t blame anyone, not even my self for not becoming who I wanted to be, for not having what I wanted to have.

I am just me living in the present moment.

Sitting down in front of laptop, making pennies from zillions words I produce everyday, thinking the way of what people say as ‘a writer’ while I keep wondering whether my self is enough to be called as a real writer.


So, for you who ask about my feeling or my family’s feeling of me taking a decision to spend the life out of my real root like these days and thought that I must be lost…

My life has been like that long before today, dear. There’s no such difference between having a well-scripted future plan than living in the presents. Not because I am not being someone who I supposed to be then my life stopped. Not because I don’t do and have thing people do and have then I can’t be happy, then I can’t make my family happy.

The thing is that, as long as I keep doing the best, making money, and hoping nothing, everything will be good I guess. And no one is lost as long as they know which steps they should take even if they don’t have any destination yet.

At least, it will not be as painful as you had a well-planned life but got it crushed on the way, right? So, just live today and keep it going, dear. All is good.


Here’s Why We Sink, Slowly and Undoubtedly

I still can remember the conversation I ever had.


We were at the fine dinner and it was his treat. We talked about many things and our conversation went dowdily till ours came into the serious point. It started with a simple question he asked to me: “What would you do after this?” Indeed, I had just taken a great decision at that time. No wonder, I found it hard to give the answer.

Yet then I said, “I crave for vacation by the way.” Then he told me without any hesitation, “Just go then.” And I whispered him with feeling so unsure, “There are lots of plans got wasted just because I didn’t think I should spend my saving just like… probably… 5 days or even 3 days trip?” I sighed and he threw a bliss, “I mean, I’d been saving it a whole year then it would just vanish in a less than a week?” my words continued.

Again, he smiled and put his glass, “This is what differ our folks with the other countries’.” My forehead wrinkled, “Value,” he shouted,

“We have no respect toward value.”

Such a harsh, I thought firstly, but I just stared at him, waiting for his further tenet.

“Our people tend to regard things way much than the value itself.

Like, let me ask you, what people in here usually do in the Holy Day, beside praying of course?” He pointed that retorical question. “They got a THR then they would spend it for buying new tees, new shoes, new books, anything that has a physical look. And very few of them who have an urge to spend it for something more profitable, more long-term period valuable, for instances going to Korean, French, Spanish, or language courses whatsover. Or like what you said, take a short getaway.”

There, I felt being offended.

“And when their children grow up, they will blame the richer for being rich, or the smarter for being smart, or the traveler for having a lot of time and penny to go abroad. They will assume that those are all just a result of corruption, collusion, or nepotism or anything related to the wealth of their families only. They don’t realize, it doesn’t always like that.”

“But some people literally did the corruption and things anyway,” I disputed.

“Like what I said, it ain’t always like that. Some might did it. But what about people who don’t? The thing is that how their perspectives built and planted. The way their families shape their paradigm.

They do not always chase the money, but they also put a higher value of the value itself.

Once they get more money, they tend to invest it for something that more long-term period profitable, such as going to courses rather than buying toys. Go seeing mountain across the land rather than buying new dvd player. Because what?

They put their selves as an asset, they invest money for their truest selves.

Sure, it doesn’t mean they don’t amuse their own selves. They do, yet it’s as a reward after achieving something that had been their near goals.”


I hated him for being such a terribly right jerk. Probably, I didn’t think my self as an asset enough along these whole times. That’s what often makes me feel like the time flies fast, money runs wasted, and the self goes empty. Or he was right, I respect money way higher than the value of my self. How could he be so precisely right?

“But, it’s all back to you after all. Cause I can’t force you to spend the money you’ve been saving for several years just for like… what you said? For 5 days or even 3 days trip only?” he said it with a serious face,

“yet, it would be not better for you too, to spend the same amount just to buy… let’s say, 5 piece of clothes that perhaps no one would notice.”

There, I got kicked again.

Though here I am, still sitting down, observing my bank account’s amount, and has a very uncertain feeling: “Should I really go somewhere and let these money for it?”

Meanwhile, he may have gone to zillion new places.










For A Strong One Out There Who Might Be Worried About Tomorrows


It’s not dark that makes us feel afraid to go out at the middle of the night. It’s also not silence that makes us choose to remain in hiding than going alone. It’s also not a getting lost that sometimes holds us to go somewhere really strange. In fact, we’re really never afraid about any of it. We’re just scared of the uncertainty behind everything above. Uncertainties that may be in a midst of the dark there would appear something harm us, or in the middle of our solitary there will emerge a loud and sudden explosion, or in the midst of waiting that actually endless and pointless.

We just fear of it. It’s like what we probably feel about tomorrow’s sun, about next steps that we will take after today, about phone calls we’ve been waiting for, about the choice of which may be wrong, or about the changes that may happen.

That fears are also what makes us feel weak about reality we face. We turn into rush just because we feel we’re on a few steps behind others. We’re in hurry when we see them finding their better-half first, or building a family first, or achieving what they want first, or deciding their next steps before we even do it. We feel so intimidated because we are afraid of the uncertainty we hold in our future. We don’t have any clue or idea when will it be our turns. We’re becoming so anxious and it makes us putting aside what we have today.

To you all who may be experiencing the same thing out there, believe that we all have a different phase, rhythm, cycle, and lines. Could you just imagine it, what will happen if everyone has the same cycles, rhythms, phases, or even the same stories? Same like a salad that we buy in supermarket, mixed by variety of vegetables, fruits, jellies, and even meat, that’s what makes it taste good, right? So even with us, a human being in this earth. Variety keeps us alive.

We don’t need to feel rush just because we have a different story line. We don’t need to feel sad just because we are late a few steps than others. It’s really no need for us feeling so inferior and powerless just because we don’t have what others might have. Nothing is really perfect in this life. Everyone is just the same. They also want something that they don’t own. They crave for something that they may not experience. We just need to be patient. Enjoy every second that we have now. Love everyone who’s with us until today. We will really get there. We will really arrive at that point. We’re just having a different phases and story line that makes us special.

Trust me.