One day, I ever asked my manager why he used Tinder while he’s already married with a very kind and pretty woman. He said, just for fun. Well, that’s not surprising, at all.
Online dating has been developed since many times ago. If you ever heard chatting room applications with stranger such as miRC and Mingle, you would not be surprised of how Tinder becomes so popular recently. You don’t even need to wonder why.
If you have a chance to see a whole online catalogue, why bother walking around from mall to mall?
Yes, those such of Tinder-ish online dating applications cater us a very instant options of a good guys and ladies out there. Or at least, that’s just how it looks. There would be a point plus for us who have such a busy life and who want to have an instant catch. Wow, techno!
As our grand-grand-grand uncle, Einstein said, “I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction.”
It’s really happening now. You might ever read stuffs of how dangerous Tinder-ish (or even social medias) affects dating nowadays, start from a forced hookups, rape, up to murder. Scary, yet true.
I will not tell you a lie, I admit that I used Tinder-ish too.
First, because I was just curious of how it works. Second, I wanted to know what kind of people there. Third, because much of my colleagues used it too just for their fun. And it’s a quite wow when I found that there were a lot of good quality people there, based on their profile such as jobs, names, photos, and how they explained their selves (you could differ people from their brief, isn’t it?).
But you know what, it was all began with the curiosity that led us into a more serious peril. It was all just ‘for fun’ things until we felt kind of addicted into it.
A feeling of ‘one more swipe’ or ‘one more hello’ that drove us over and over. We even tended to use it more often while we’re lonely or needing an approval or an acknowledgment. No wonder, a married person was also oured of this Tinder-ish too.
I will tell you how it came, based on how I feel toward it.
Tinder-ish applications provide us zillion good quality people.
Means, there would me more opportunity for us to find the person who suits with our qualifications VIRTUALLY. It could be their faces, their bodies, their smiles, their jobs, their schools, or even of how comfy they could make us while chatting with them.
We would find the approval of our own self easily while we could match with a top quality person there. We started thinking: “See, I’m not picky, I don’t have an over qualifications, they choose me too, means I am realistic!”
We would find the acknowledgment from the day to day conversation and flirting things there. That was when he or she said to you: “Hey, you have such a cute smile!” or “I like your eyes” or when they said they have a common interest with you. We could easily feel comfy somehow.
Then it would become more serious when we brought it into our real life.
Means, while there was a real person who try to be close with us, then we compared he or she with the ones we have in Tinder-ish world, we would always feel… incomplete. We would feel like: “He or she is way nicer.” That someway, brought a brick between us and the REAL opportunity.
Let just say, some would end up with a meetup and hookup, not few who end up with a real relationship, but also, some would end up with a more and more searching, and moreover, some would just end up with… a more severe loneliness.
Why.
We can’t erase the fact that there are certain types of people in Tinder-ish world. The hookup-er, the fun searcher, and the most but the rare too, the lonely and serious one. It would not be a trouble when the same type meet each other. Like, the hookup-er meet the hookup-er too. Or the fun searcher with the fun searcher too. The matter happens when the lonely and serious one… meet the… other types.
Why.
Because somehow, even when the people in this type became closer and more intimate with the person there, the prejudice would overshadow them too. They would think of how unreal the intimacy they have with that person, especially when they both never meet. They also would think that person might has a similar intimacy with others at the same time they have with them. The thought of: “If he or she found me there, it’s so possible that someday he or she would leave me and find another one who’s better back to there.”
And just like a drug, when we tried to get rid of it, there would be a withdrawal syndrome. The feeling of agony. That’s why a research shows that it’s not good for us using an online dating while we are in loneliness. Because it would just lead us into another severe loneliness.
Wow, techno!
At this point, I could not be more agree with Uncle Einstein. Technology might make our lives easier. But not at the matter of feelings, emotions, and relationships.
titikoma; 