Stories

It’s Time To Walk Away From Those Who Only Think You As An Option

You are not a paper test on the high school. Your life is not a multiple choices that people can only pick you as an option. You are not an object among items on the market alley. Your existence is not without a unique purpose that people can consider you just as the same with other.

You are obviously not a karaoke voucher given at the end of the year. You breathe for a reason that people can not use you only when they are convenient.

You are not a rest area along a distant highway. Your presence is not a pit stop that people can come and go without thinking to stay at all. You are not just a random number in the old cell phone. You might be available all the time but not for those who only think of you when they are lonely and alone.

You are definitely not a spare tire hanged on the back of a car. You can be everyone’s rescuer but it doesn’t mean you are only people’s back up, people’s plan B.

You are not a giggling doll sold in the Ebay. You might always want to entertain people but not for those who call you on the night when they are sober but then forgetting you on the next morning.

And seriously, you are not a customer service of the cable tv provider you subscribed. You can pick up anyone’s call any time but not for those who call you only when they have a bonus package.

Who do they think they are?

You know what, no one in this life wants to be considered only as an option. Each of one do want to be someone’s priority, or at least with the equivalent dose we prioritize them. We want to be wanted just as much as we want them. Equally because life should be balance. Even we know that life is about choosing an option, it doesn’t mean you can let people always treat you only as their option.

You deserve to be someone’s today’s special, just like how special a chef thinking and treating you as a good table, everyday.

You are worth more than being a daily topic list on your favorite website, you are worth as an editorial’s pick just as much as editorial team pick deliberately to serve you as the only one, everyday. You deserve to be someone’s signature dish that they put a huge effort just to get you and when they do, they will feel satisfied and enough.

Yes. Always being an option are tiring, exhausting, and irritating.

It is when you think you will be the first person who hears someone’s good news but then you only know it from other people, worse than that, someone’s social media. It is when you think you will be the only one who is invited for the special concert but then you know that someone decides to go with someone else. It is when you up all night and wait for someone’s call but after a week there was just nothing. And then when you try to accept the reality that you are only someone’s option, they just pop up in your life again without feeling guilty.

Seriously, who do they think they are?

For those who can only make a fool of your kindness and existence in their lives, show them that you are not.

Show them that you can survive without them. Show them that your life even brighter without they are living in it. That you are so much happier and it’s more than okay not to have them in your life. Because once they consider you only as an option, they will never take you as a priority.

And you have to show them that you worth as a priority. But if they still can’t see it, it’s the right time to walk away.

*

#4: The Day After She Let Her Go

 

So, this was how if felt.

Not to have someone coming back. It was cloudy, grey, and windy day. It’s almost like the earth knew how she felt.

Even the house still crowded with people, she felt there was a huge vacuum after she pushed the door. It’s like a hollow and dry hole. That then she walked into the room, not turning on the lamp.

The messiness didn’t bother her anymore. She felt that only the solid darkness was the best companion. She, again, only sat down reclinate on the door, embraced her legs, and closed her eyes.

So, this was how it felt.

To steel a self and a heart and only left that woman there, while she had to go back to this strange house altogether with her families. Why couldn’t she feel anything that time?

Was she relieved, was she gloomy, was she yearning, was she angry?

She was trying hard to reckon her own feelings until tears dropped and she eventually sobbed. As someone heard it and forced her to let them came in, her sob weeping became louder. As if their hugs couldn’t salve her.

So, this was how it felt, to be sad, a deeply wounded sad.

**

#1: The Night He Let It Go

 

It was one of the frigid night in her life.

“There’s nothing more we can do, I neither want to give you a fair promise,” he spoke with a tone down but that was too tough for her, the fact he brought.

“I know,” like many times before, she responded almost like an autonomic reflex, robotic alike, more like an autotext or autoanswer.

He peered at her face that seemed as cold as the wind blew that night. The room between them only filled by the solemn silence.

“She must have been gone,” her weak voice suddenly cracked again. The man who sat beside her could only gaping at her. In minutes, the quietness came back and took over their space, until she got up as saying, “I’ll talk to them.”

“Wait.”

Then it was his turn becoming almost to responsive than he supposed to be. He held her hand, kept her step stopped there. “We never let anyone go before it’s really over,” he whispered as got up until he paralleling her height.

“It’s already over. I know it. I feel it. Everything are only apparent. The breath, the heartbeat rate, the sinus, the hope. Covered by machines. And it’s time to ease away.”

“How would you know that it’s over?”

“How would you know that it’s not over, Doc?”

There, he could never be able to give her the answer even if he knew it. And that time, probably the first after his three years of tenure, he let someone go before he’s sure enough that it was over.

It was also one of the frigid night in his life. He must embrace his self.

**

The Right Kick From Someone Else Will Open Our Eyes And Help Us To Live Better

“Heya, don’t be overthinking, don’t take anything with hard feeling!”

“Well, I don’t think you look good with that color, you look like my grandma.”

“You want him but he doesn’t even want you then how?”

Those kind of comments probably gonna hurt us so much. Especially when people who say it is those who are so close with us. We would think that they’re kind of friends who will just drag us down, they don’t even give us any support at all, and they push us to lose our own confidence. Toxic person. We get mad because they say it without any guilt. After making us feel even worse off, or turn us upset that make us removing our lipstick color which we picked first, or they make us feeling like we would bump our heads to the wall after just being dumped by our boys, they just stroll away. How mean!

Indeed. Some studies have shown that it’s better for us to leave that kind of people. Those who only give us any negative thought are not worthy to be our friends. It’s better we get along with those who give a positive aura and impact for us. It’s true somehow.

But you know what, I’ve now realized, there are times in our lives when we need a jerk and shit people like them. People that can criticize us with a hurt but true sentences without any fear of offending us. People that can say a damn-it’s-true words even when we’re down. Because what? When they kick right on our butt, that could be the only way to open our eyes. And mind. Because sometimes, we need someone to slap us first so that we really know what kind of mistakes and darknesses we’ve been in. And why we should really get out from that.

But of course, I do know that there’s a slightly difference between people who are a real toxic one and those who drop us down just to help us get up and stand up again. One way to know it is by knowing how often they throw their bitter sentences to us. Do they always say it almost in every decision we make, right or wrong? Or do they only throw it at certain moments when we really make mistakes? Do they just give us a bitter lemon without giving us any honey afterwards? Or do they give some kind of solutions after criticizing us sadistically?

Because, that’s right, sometimes we need someone to kick us or drag us down to help us having a better step, but of course only the right one.

 

The Heartbreak Story of Someone That Letting You Go So Easily

“It’s okay if you want to just… go.”

Your were frozen and stoned in a point as he whispered that in your ears. His voice was so low, but you believed enough that his echoing heart were sure and steady on telling this to yours. You ran out of words. You seemed difficult to perceive and accept this reality. That someone who ever hard pulling and grasping the rope was just releasing strands easily. Just like that.

There’s no streaks of fear reflected on his beautiful eyes. You didn’t even have a time for some kind of negotiation. Or mediation that probably could bring you both together again. That perhaps you two could still walking in the same line. But it’s enough. In that very moment, you’re quite aware. Maybe he just wanted you in a very awful portion. Not enough to endure everything that went between you two. And it’s like a bonfire in the rainy season. The warmth just ignited in the beginning then turned into cold that made you shiver. Just like now. Just like this very second.

You could see a conviction burnt on his eyes when he told you that. As if you’re the item that could be found and bought everywhere. No meaning, no value. He just said thanks with his cold and tearing smile. Thanks for what? Thanks because he made you soar as well that pushed you to believe that he wanted you so hard at first and then just let you go wasted like this? Thanks for ever making you believed of all his tenderness and toxic words of sweetness?

You had no idea what kind of thanks he meant.

The one thing that you knew was that you shouldn’t trust anyone with a sweet-talk in this life. The words were not a chocolate that even bitter would still feel good on the tongue. The words were more like a knife that could pierce and harm us at any time. You just need to wait when the knife would slice your wrist or even stick in your chest.

And for you, that knife he held was just stabbing yours now. Your heart in pain, but you still have to push yourself walking.

Oh Oracle!

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“You have a very good fortune, luck, and a chance,” she said by grabbing my hands. I shocked and fastly pulling my hands. I walked and left her behind. I thought she was insane.

Yes, definitely I could say that it was just a moron oracle wearing all the creepy things all over her body. Because I swear, today was the worst day in my life. Oh yeah, of course I live with all the shits happen, but these were the worst one.

I was blamed by my boss, he yelled me just because I came late which was so normal in Monday routines. I found my desk full of tasks, yet my pc seemed looking for a fight with me, it was cracked and error. And the worst of all, I caught my crush just officially making a relationship with other girl. Then that creepy fortune-teller said I have a very good fortune? What a weird.

The new beginning is just about to come.

Oh come on! I screamed out inside my heart while reading that funny shouts coming to my mail. I wanted to slam my phone. But I stood in this train and it would be so captivating for people seeing me that way. So, here I am, standing and yelling out my life.

Until I saw something strange in front of me. A man was patched by other man, like he would be stolen. I asked my self what should I do and will I get something good if I helped him. Crap. Helping people for no cause. My other self forced me to stop that thing so I came closer quietly to that man. Then whispering,

“Keep a distance, someone’s trying to grab your stuff.”

At first he puzzled and confused. But he did what I said. He took a step forward which was far enough not to be grabbed. And I stepped back, drawned into my complains again.

In the trains stop, while I was walking out, he called me, he came closer, then he thanked me. “Well, thanks, it would be my worst day if you didn’t do that,” he said.

I was stoned in a seconds. But my memory flew back into what that oracle said. I got it. Maybe, luck isn’t just about us, but helping people to escape from their worst day, is it? So I smiled and left him. But he ran after me and said, “How about having a coffee or two?”

And luck, of course is about meeting a new chance that might be your postponed-destiny.