Singleness

It’s Time To Walk Away From Those Who Only Think You As An Option

You are not a paper test on the high school. Your life is not a multiple choices that people can only pick you as an option. You are not an object among items on the market alley. Your existence is not without a unique purpose that people can consider you just as the same with other.

You are obviously not a karaoke voucher given at the end of the year. You breathe for a reason that people can not use you only when they are convenient.

You are not a rest area along a distant highway. Your presence is not a pit stop that people can come and go without thinking to stay at all. You are not just a random number in the old cell phone. You might be available all the time but not for those who only think of you when they are lonely and alone.

You are definitely not a spare tire hanged on the back of a car. You can be everyone’s rescuer but it doesn’t mean you are only people’s back up, people’s plan B.

You are not a giggling doll sold in the Ebay. You might always want to entertain people but not for those who call you on the night when they are sober but then forgetting you on the next morning.

And seriously, you are not a customer service of the cable tv provider you subscribed. You can pick up anyone’s call any time but not for those who call you only when they have a bonus package.

Who do they think they are?

You know what, no one in this life wants to be considered only as an option. Each of one do want to be someone’s priority, or at least with the equivalent dose we prioritize them. We want to be wanted just as much as we want them. Equally because life should be balance. Even we know that life is about choosing an option, it doesn’t mean you can let people always treat you only as their option.

You deserve to be someone’s today’s special, just like how special a chef thinking and treating you as a good table, everyday.

You are worth more than being a daily topic list on your favorite website, you are worth as an editorial’s pick just as much as editorial team pick deliberately to serve you as the only one, everyday. You deserve to be someone’s signature dish that they put a huge effort just to get you and when they do, they will feel satisfied and enough.

Yes. Always being an option are tiring, exhausting, and irritating.

It is when you think you will be the first person who hears someone’s good news but then you only know it from other people, worse than that, someone’s social media. It is when you think you will be the only one who is invited for the special concert but then you know that someone decides to go with someone else. It is when you up all night and wait for someone’s call but after a week there was just nothing. And then when you try to accept the reality that you are only someone’s option, they just pop up in your life again without feeling guilty.

Seriously, who do they think they are?

For those who can only make a fool of your kindness and existence in their lives, show them that you are not.

Show them that you can survive without them. Show them that your life even brighter without they are living in it. That you are so much happier and it’s more than okay not to have them in your life. Because once they consider you only as an option, they will never take you as a priority.

And you have to show them that you worth as a priority. But if they still can’t see it, it’s the right time to walk away.

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Never Ending Same Question: Ever Worried of Being Unmarried?

​”Have you ever worried about being unmarried?” One of my friends asked, again.
I know I have written and talked lots about these. With you, with my close friends, and with my family. And the more I discuss about this, the more it will end up at the same point. But, that time I asked back to my friend about why that question came up. 

“I just worry about it now, like… a lot. And I think it’s good to talk with you because you seem like so calm about it,” as my friend answered by texting me.

So calm. The answer reminded me of my friend who ever said the same tone. I remember, it was while we were hanging out together and they were all talking about their love lives matter, and then one of them shouting to me. “You know what, I think you are too free like a bird. Sometimes you need to think about your love life too.”

Then I am wondering now, do I look that careless?


Here, I try to explore my own mind as probably you would do the same. I don’t know what’s happening to me lately. As something happens related with my life, whether it’s a career, family, or even love life, it doesn’t really bother me. Not as much as before.

Somesay because I have succeeded controlling my own emotion now. I am not easily falling into stressors anymore. But I am my self thinking that it is because I have reached the limit of my threshold. Similar with people in the mountain. While they are freezing by the maximum coldness, they can’t even feel the cold in their body any more. Their skins become insensitive. In this case, my mental is becoming able to endure any stressors. Just because I have reached my limit.
Back to the main topic, do I feel worry of not getting married yet?

Well, no one wants to be alone in their lives. Most of people want to marry the person they love and build the family. It’s like one of human’s ultimate goal. So do I. I want the same thing. I also open my self for many possibility and chance, but it just doesn’t work up until now. It just has not happened yet for me now. 

I guess, I am tired of thinking the positivity of why I have not gotten the one. I am tired of seeking the make sense reason. So does to the many failures in my life. I am just exhausting of finding the logic reasons. That’s what turns me into someone who seems so careless about life now.

I am now a present life person. I live today, I make an effort today, but I don’t want to push my self thinking about what’s next, what ifs, what wills, or whatsover.
Funny that I even often hate my self in the past. The too ambitious person, the over achiever, the too much chasing person. Drawn in the remorse, I ask my self: What did I really chase that time? Why did I act like that in fact nothing lasts forever? 

Yes, nothing lasts forever. We are just an actor of this whole life that has already being planned by the Creator. The married and unmarried things, the hired and unhired things, those all aren’t supposed to be forced to happen, yet. 
So that’s what going on my mind. But then just texted back to my friend saying: “Because I just let things go. Nothing more.” And I know my friend really unsatisfied with my answer.