Here Is For You Who Is Thinking To End Your Life

Dear you,

I understand that this life is tough, rough, and sheer. As well as I know that not everyone notice about it. Many times we lose our grip and go astern being a sophist who seems lose our way. Not a few times we have to let go things we love the most. Often we feel like we are far left behind compared to our surrounding. We think that we are the only one whose life is messed up. Our visions and dreams are scattered everywhere and it seems like it’s too hard to put those all back together. Every step we take seems like brings us nowhere. Our goal is getting farer that it seems impossible to reach it. It’s like there is no point of waking up every morning.

I know that you might be hard to see the light in the end of tunnel. It seems like you are blinded, all you can see is darkness. All you can hear is an uproar of annoying noise. And all you can do is just sitting in the back of your locked door, wondering if it’s better for you not to be born at all. You feel pointless, wasted, and unavailin. A fool for one’s pains.

I do see that at this very time, you are getting numb. You can’t feel your own feeling, you can’t touch your own heart, and you can’t see your own shadow. You really don’t have any idea of how to live like a normal being. Even breathing seems like a hard work for you. You don’t want to see a mirror because you just hate yourself so much that you can’t even see your own reflection.

And dear you,

I can surely understand that when you come to the very bottom of your life like this, you might leave of your own senses. You only want to be alone but you are also obsessed to get along with people. You want to laugh hard as much as you want to cry out loud. You want to love and to be loved but you also hate everybody so much, even your parents and your friends. You feel like being alienated. You think that the universe never get along with you. You feel alone in these crowded earth.

And at this very climax of your suffering heart, I understand that you start thinking you are a messed, ripped, and cluttered. Your self is broken in pieces but nobody can see it. You begin to wonder if you are getting crazy and abnormal. You are scared of ended up by having a mental illness and everyone will just leave you eventually. In fact, each of us somehow surely have a certain kind of psychological disorder. And it’s not just you.

And dear, I also know when you are walking through the high bridge, you might think to just jump. Or when you hand a knife while slicing a meat, you might think it’s better for you slicing your wrist instead. Or when you pour a disinfectant, the thought of drinking it up ever crosses your mind. You think, what’s the point of surviving now when you no longer have a reason to keep breathing.

I really understand it well.

But dear, I tell you something. A secret that you might never think before.

If you are thinking that your life is lost and your steps lead to nowhere, just being a wanderer. Many times, a wanderer will find their own special place that nobody knows it. If you are thinking that you don’t understand your own feeling, just talk to them. Sometimes, talking to your own self is the best way to getting know your own feeling.

And if you are thinking of how ripped you are, that’s what makes you a masterpiece. Your each piece is worth more than anything and that’s what makes you special.

Life is hard, I know. You feel like you can’t hang on because it’s too much loads on your back, I know. You think that no one can understand you, maybe you just need to communicate it. Don’t supress your burdens alone. People are there for you.

And if you think that quitting your life is a best solution; it ain’t.

Dear you,

If you are feeling too tired to continue your life, too exhausted to open your eyes, just take times to rest. Do whatever you like. If you want to sleep, go sleep. If you want to get wild and scream out loud, just do it. If you want to go somewhere expensive, just go. All you need to do is don’t quit. Don’t cut your life. Don’t finish it now. Because someone somewhere out there is hoping to have you in their life.

So, stay alive and stay breathing.


For A Strong One Out There Who Might Be Worried About Tomorrows


It’s not dark that makes us feel afraid to go out at the middle of the night. It’s also not silence that makes us choose to remain in hiding than going alone. It’s also not a getting lost that sometimes holds us to go somewhere really strange. In fact, we’re really never afraid about any of it. We’re just scared of the uncertainty behind everything above. Uncertainties that may be in a midst of the dark there would appear something harm us, or in the middle of our solitary there will emerge a loud and sudden explosion, or in the midst of waiting that actually endless and pointless.

We just fear of it. It’s like what we probably feel about tomorrow’s sun, about next steps that we will take after today, about phone calls we’ve been waiting for, about the choice of which may be wrong, or about the changes that may happen.

That fears are also what makes us feel weak about reality we face. We turn into rush just because we feel we’re on a few steps behind others. We’re in hurry when we see them finding their better-half first, or building a family first, or achieving what they want first, or deciding their next steps before we even do it. We feel so intimidated because we are afraid of the uncertainty we hold in our future. We don’t have any clue or idea when will it be our turns. We’re becoming so anxious and it makes us putting aside what we have today.

To you all who may be experiencing the same thing out there, believe that we all have a different phase, rhythm, cycle, and lines. Could you just imagine it, what will happen if everyone has the same cycles, rhythms, phases, or even the same stories? Same like a salad that we buy in supermarket, mixed by variety of vegetables, fruits, jellies, and even meat, that’s what makes it taste good, right? So even with us, a human being in this earth. Variety keeps us alive.

We don’t need to feel rush just because we have a different story line. We don’t need to feel sad just because we are late a few steps than others. It’s really no need for us feeling so inferior and powerless just because we don’t have what others might have. Nothing is really perfect in this life. Everyone is just the same. They also want something that they don’t own. They crave for something that they may not experience. We just need to be patient. Enjoy every second that we have now. Love everyone who’s with us until today. We will really get there. We will really arrive at that point. We’re just having a different phases and story line that makes us special.

Trust me.