Mental Health

You’re In Toxic Relationship When He Always Make You Doubt About Yourself

Month after month, through all the heartbreaks and all the rise & fall moments, you still couldn’t see why you always ended up with holding him, holding the possibilities that perhaps you set up in your own mind. You actually know that you should have gotten over it from many times before.


It was when he always keeps you lay awake at night, not because of the sweet talks and butterflies he creates to you, but because of all the questions over your head every time he hangs up his call. Or when he says that he misses you over and over again that then you start questioning whether he does it to the others. Or every time you both say goodbye and until then that after it you always wonder whether this would be the last time for you to see him.


Not few times you find yourself trapped in the overanalyzing world of yours. You observe every single thing, act, word, and even the feeling and reaction he creates to you. And often, you doubt yourself of whether you would still hold him or just let it go like literally go. Because, deep in your heart, you know you have no serious future with him that the possibility of end up by being in almost-relationship grows clearer.


But, here you are, still sitting on your bed, late at night, thinking  about him, again and again.


Why him? You question yourself too many times even you know you will always end up by seeking for facts that could support your self-fcking-bias. You deleted his number, unlinked all the social media connections with him, and even ignored him roughly. Just so that it would make everything easier, to forget him, to let him go. When you actually know that it ain’t cause each time you try to do it, the universe seems always bring him to you again.


All those little things that remind you of him, your both favourite place, the smell of perfume he used to spray over his body, your both favourite basketball team, even that stupid little popcorn you both used to pick in the cinema, or when you see his company’s name all over the ads. You know you still have a chance to make things work with him each time he asks you out or calls you just to hear your voice because he said he misses you, again, like so bad.


Almost all night long you find yourself crying because you miss him when he ghosts you and you don’t actually want this feeling. You want him but you know you should have gotten over him. Gotten overall this unclear relationship. Up until you remember;


When he let you waited for him almost more than an hour because he still played on the hall, or when he kept you confused about how he said he would call you late at night but he didn’t, or when he said he would come to approach your place but he didn’t show up at all, and when he let you go home alone in the super late at night by saying please text me when you get home rather than taking you home;


You notice, you can’t force someone to love you when he actually doesn’t.


It’s now like a crystal clear, you see that he’s never really that serious with you. That, it’s not healthy for your mental hygiene because many times all he does is just making you wondering whether you are enough for him. That, it’s better to let someone go when you often feel less and empty even when you’re with them. And that, maybe, again, he doesn’t belong to you, this relationship doesn’t belong to you. Cause at this time, you know that you always wonder your worth and if someone really loves you, they’re supposed not to make you feel this way.


A healthy relationship is when you both can support each other rather than doubting your precious self and talent, when he doesn’t often tell ‘I miss you’ cause you both have a fixed time and schedule to meet each other, when he doesn’t let you wait too long because he knows nobody likes waiting, and when he doesn’t let you doubt about your self-worth because he just loves you too much that you don’t have a time to even wonder about it.


2017 almost ends, you know you better to end something because keeping it will just destruct and drown yourself, slowly but killing…

You’re In Toxic Relationship When He Always Make You Doubt About Yourself


Support Will Mean More While They Are Still Alive, Not When They Have Just Gone

Classic quotes says, we will start realizing that someone is very precious in this life after they are no longer with us.

Either it is because of a broken relationship, a divorce, or even worse, because of the death. That then, we will be poured by the very deep sadness and gloominess after they gone. But, does it still have a meaning for them or maybe for our surrounding even it has just happened after they gone?

We all know that world is now broken because of a sudden demise of one of the lasting bands’ lead vocal, Chester Bennington. There are lots of outpouring loves and supports come from all over the world, remarking that Chester was the best figure that ever lived, that everyone put their heart into it, and that they will miss him so much since then.

Of course, it’s normal thing to happen, especially when it comes to public figures who grab people’s heart. Losing and yearning become one package. The sudden throwback of how beautiful the memories they ever kept in mind play over and over again. Many people want to showcase that they care about that people’s bereavement. A lot.

But one thing provokes the big question is that, why have these all  just happened now? Where have we been before?

Mentioned that one which triggered the suicidal act Chester did was a depression. Reported a lot too that he had a tough battle of his mental health. He was also molested when he was seven years old. That then in one peaceful day, when he had just dropped his family home, he was found hanging himself. That day, he decided to end his 41 years of life in this world. Sad, tragic, but it could happen to anyone, not only to public figures whose life often being too much exposed and pressed.

But then again, why people have just put their attention only after it happened? Where have we been along this whole time?

The truth, most of the times we don’t really care toward something related to someone’s life.

We don’t want to involve ourselves too far in the problems that people have. We think, we also have our own lives and problems that need to overcome. Moreover, when we start seeing the load of troubles people have are getting bigger, deeper, and more serious. And it seems have no ending, we start taking a step back and consider to just watching from afar. Because again, we don’t wanna be infected by negative vibes. Especially when the person begins to showing that they have a tendency to do a self-harming, and it’s very hard to prevent them. We think, okay I will just get out from their messy life, and let just they be it.

Well, it’s again, a normal after all. Because we are not an angel that could magically help people’s life, right? We have our own limit and we will just stop trying when the situation gets hard.

But, what we can learn from Chester’s story and the world’s sympathy is that we could be an angel. We could magically help saving people’s life. Not by waiting until something bad happen first, but while they are still needing our support, silently or outspokenly.

It is when our inner instinct tells us to approach them because we feel that they need us, and it’s not always them telling us first. We could feel it, we could see it. Even some of them will tell you openly that they really want to end their depressing life. Simple, just tell them that their lives is precious. That there are hundreds of ways to find the solution. That there are lots of thing they could do to channel their stress mind into something more productive. And this one works effectively, just tell that when they start harming their self, nothing will happen. Their problems will never be solved. And if they are trying to grab attention, no one will see them just because they harm their self.

Give them the insight, what if they end their life now and the fact is that everything get better the day after they took their lives, wouldn’t they regret it? Once they slice their wrist and God say, okay I will take your life now, they could never reverse and take it back. Remind them like that.

That’s how our supports will give more meaning to them. While they are still alive and needing it. Not when we could only see their body hanged.

Let’s be an angel for those who need it.