Marriage

To All Women, Here Is Why You Must Keep Your Career On Track After Getting Married

Nothing is more blissful than being a wife of someone who love you so much.

Someone who might give you tons of promises to always be together since he gives you a ring. That sacred ring where all your waiting ends. And you believe him because this was one of your ultimate goals; to get married and build a family. When you finally say yes, everything in your world turns a little different. Getting money and a job promotion are no longer on your first list. Showing off your hectic life in your office story is no more interesting for you.

That’s why you don’t feel anything when you have to give the resignation letter to your boss. Even if your boss ensures you with the question, “You are on the top of your career, are you sure to do this?” You nod without any hesitation. So what? Because you have a real life now. The life you have been dreaming of; being his Mrs.

The comeback from your sweet honeymoon might still feels a dreamlike. Waking up beside him and still sometimes can’t believe yourself that you are now his. Watching and cuddling with him beneath the warm and cozy blanket. And then voluntarily move to prepare for his breakfast before he works. And still, it feels like a dream comes true. Posting all your breakfast and daily newlywed’s activities almost everyday because you want to share the happiness you have with him. Your one and only husband. You want the world know.

You don’t mind even if you spend your entire 20s life to chase that degree which only ends up in this kitchen. You have no objection to agree with what he ask that it’s better for you to fully stay at home. All day long. Cleaning the house, sometimes doing grocery shopping, learning new skills of how to be a great wife on the kitchen and bed, and sometimes just flicking to the television on the couch.

You are happy and there’s no need to wonder.

And then you are now having his baby in your tummy. The little him. You will soon to be a mother and he looks more than wonderful to know it. He takes care of you very much because he just anxious if something happen with the baby. Until your due date comes and he accompanies your labor. And then it’s a perfect package of complete happiness; A little family. What a sweet story everyone dreams of.

But you know what, it’s not because I am being a sarcastic or pessimist that I have to tell you the bitter part. The other story you might never watched before because perhaps you’ve been living in a very peaceful bunch of families and neighborhood along this time. The truth is that;

I have been witnessing many women in my life suffering after the passing of their husband.

Not only because of the death tear them apart, but also because of divorce. Some might end up with the grief they try to cope, some struggle so hard to strike a blow for their certainty of legal issues, some fight to win back their own property things, and some just try to keep breathing like a normal when they definitely can’t.

This somehow reminds me of what my mom ever said, “Never cease your career life even if you have a rich husband and he promises to vouched for your entire life.” And when I asked why, she didn’t answer. But now I got it.

Surviving your career life after getting married isn’t only about keeping the money flows, but also maintaining your networking.

I know, you can still have a certain kind of society without being an employee. But this case, I talk about the opportunity and doors that might open for you. With or without your husband meddled with. It’s okay to cut down your very busy schedule by re-negotiating your position with your boss if it’s possible. Rather than giving it up at all. It’s okay not to give your time as much as when you were still single. Because you have to take care your household life.

But again, if you’re now a career woman and getting married with someone, I think you need to reconsider if you want to change from a full time employee into a full time wife.

Let’s just talk the sorest part we never want to face. If someday, something happen with your marriage, and your husband leaves you in a situation in which you are a full time wife, either forever or for other woman, and he doesn’t leave any penny for you, what will happen with you and perhaps your children? Are you going to give up being a mother for them?

I’m sure you won’t unless you still have a Cinderella’s mother lineage.

The main benefit if you keep your career on track after married is surely in your financial life. You might have to handle your husband’s money, but you have your own. You can either use it to support him or just spend it for your fun. The other advantage is on your self-esteem, how you value yourself as not only a wife but also a woman separated from your married life. Yourself still have a high price even if you’re no longer single. Out of the Mrs. title in front of your name, you have your intellectual badass mind, a sexy brain, and a youthful skills of work, and of course piles of professional experiences that many companies willing to buy.

Means, if the bitter scenario of your marriage runs, you still can be alive with a normal breathing. You might struggle as a single parent, but not as hard as those who decided to cut off their career. You might face a rocky way to maintain your household needs, but not as hard as those who doesn’t even have anything to sale.

So, all the Mrs. soon to be, being a career woman doesn’t mean you are an alpha independent who doesn’t know where your root as a wife, but it shows that you always have a backup plan. Because nothing is sure in this life. You need to be ready for every kind of change.

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Never Ending Same Question: Ever Worried of Being Unmarried?

​”Have you ever worried about being unmarried?” One of my friends asked, again.
I know I have written and talked lots about these. With you, with my close friends, and with my family. And the more I discuss about this, the more it will end up at the same point. But, that time I asked back to my friend about why that question came up. 

“I just worry about it now, like… a lot. And I think it’s good to talk with you because you seem like so calm about it,” as my friend answered by texting me.

So calm. The answer reminded me of my friend who ever said the same tone. I remember, it was while we were hanging out together and they were all talking about their love lives matter, and then one of them shouting to me. “You know what, I think you are too free like a bird. Sometimes you need to think about your love life too.”

Then I am wondering now, do I look that careless?


Here, I try to explore my own mind as probably you would do the same. I don’t know what’s happening to me lately. As something happens related with my life, whether it’s a career, family, or even love life, it doesn’t really bother me. Not as much as before.

Somesay because I have succeeded controlling my own emotion now. I am not easily falling into stressors anymore. But I am my self thinking that it is because I have reached the limit of my threshold. Similar with people in the mountain. While they are freezing by the maximum coldness, they can’t even feel the cold in their body any more. Their skins become insensitive. In this case, my mental is becoming able to endure any stressors. Just because I have reached my limit.
Back to the main topic, do I feel worry of not getting married yet?

Well, no one wants to be alone in their lives. Most of people want to marry the person they love and build the family. It’s like one of human’s ultimate goal. So do I. I want the same thing. I also open my self for many possibility and chance, but it just doesn’t work up until now. It just has not happened yet for me now. 

I guess, I am tired of thinking the positivity of why I have not gotten the one. I am tired of seeking the make sense reason. So does to the many failures in my life. I am just exhausting of finding the logic reasons. That’s what turns me into someone who seems so careless about life now.

I am now a present life person. I live today, I make an effort today, but I don’t want to push my self thinking about what’s next, what ifs, what wills, or whatsover.
Funny that I even often hate my self in the past. The too ambitious person, the over achiever, the too much chasing person. Drawn in the remorse, I ask my self: What did I really chase that time? Why did I act like that in fact nothing lasts forever? 

Yes, nothing lasts forever. We are just an actor of this whole life that has already being planned by the Creator. The married and unmarried things, the hired and unhired things, those all aren’t supposed to be forced to happen, yet. 
So that’s what going on my mind. But then just texted back to my friend saying: “Because I just let things go. Nothing more.” And I know my friend really unsatisfied with my answer. 

From Funny To Dirty, These 7 Cool Groomsmen Dances Will Melt Your Heart!

Every woman wants to be treated very special in their wedding day. It’s not only about the dress they wear, the reception they hold, but up to the groom’s manner towards them. And one of the most noticeable and adorable part of wedding is dancing time.

In some culture, there will always be a time for first dancing, either it’s done by the couple, the bride, or the groom. I don’t know why, but I think seeing the groom dances is somehow interesting and sometimes dashing.

So, I’ve been stumbling Youtube channels and I found many talented grooms and their men willing to strain at a gat just for cheering their brides on their wedding day. Here are 7 most hilarious and creative of those!

 

Korean Groom Joins The Dance

The first one comes from Asian wedding, specifically Korean. I love seeing while the bride enjoyed the groomsmen dance without knowing that her groom would join them too! And also, the way they ended the dance were so cool!

 

Hot and Hilarious Groomsmen

The next one is from American or probably European. I was captivated with the color of dance floor. And of course the harmony of groomsmen. They were so awesome!

Awesome Spell of Groom

Oh, I could say this is my favorite! I can’t say it’s a groomsmen dance, it’s more like a wedding dance because the couple did it. The special thing from their dance is that the groom is a magician! So, you could see the magic at the end of dancing! And they did it romantically perfect!

 

Funny and Adorable Groom

Some of the groomsmen dances are funnier instead of well-choreographed or romantic. But this one? This is amazing because it combines a funny part and a great movement’s harmony of the bestmen!

 

Funniest Expression Ever

It’s hard not to laugh while watching the start of this dance. The groom’s expression was so hilarious, funny, and naughty at the same time. The great point is that they dance a Beyoncé’s song instead of all time favorite groomsmen dance’s song such as Treasure by Bruno Mars!

 

They Seem Really Enjoy It

All you can catch from this groomsmen dance is that they really enjoyed it! It seems like they danced not only for helping the groom surprises the bride, but more like they really loved to move!

 

The Groom Lets The Boy Dancing

The best part of this groomsmen dance is when the groom invite his little sibling to start the dance. It’s just so good seeing men goes well with boys. But unfortunately, the dance’s space seemed too narrow, isn’t it?

 

And last but not the least, it’s not fair if we exclude this kind of dancing while talking about wedding dances, right? One of the most famous, but looks like it’s hard, wedding dance: Dirty Dancing from the movie Time of My Life. I adore the harmony of this couple!

 

So, what’s your favorite wedding or groomsmen dance? Or perhaps, your own bride or groom gave the better one than those above?

Being The Only Single Left Behind Could Be A Problem, But You’re Just Too Tired To Make An Issue

 

What do you think about marriage?

What was going through your mind about finding the right person? Have you got her or him? Or maybe you are experiencing the same thing? Have you ever felt so scared and not sure that one day you will find it? You’re so worried that you might be the last person still alone when all your companions are already married? And you’re the last person left behind?

You begin to think that no single opportunity to side with the right one. Do you even remember the last time someone asked you, not because he or she needs something from you, but because he or she cares about you? You don’t remember the last time someone holding your hand, to ask you to go to the cinema at the weekend? Maybe it was all those years ago? And it was your heart is completely emptied so that you do not care anymore about any chance? You begin to yield all to the power of God and no longer wants a lot of efforts?

You begin wondering, ah this probably my fault that I’ve done in the past?

Has someone ever cursed me so that it’s really hard for me finding just one person now? Did I make a mistake which hurt someone so much that left a deep wounds in his or her hearts that I do not deserve having a better one afterward? Can’t I just find one person who truly understands all my worries and ended up married to him or her? Because the one that you want to do is get married, like most of others. Do you live the same matters?

You never think that finding someone to marry you would be this hard. You’ve grown with the throng of doctrines that obstacles will be just about complete the study, find a job, and earn money. None of people in your family ever whispered that yes maybe you will experience problems with this one, finding your future spouse. Until finally you’re so surprised because you’re experiencing this problem. While perhaps others are never having a problem about this one. Until you’re tired and do not know what to say when they ask. You do not know how to explain anything because …

there is too much of a burden on your heart and mind.

You start looking for references, reading things that might make you calmer. You’re asking a lot of forums just to know that not only are you experiencing this problem all the burden. That turned out to be many people who experience the same thing. Do you feel knowing this will make you feel lighter, more relieved. Because in fact you were not all that strange than others. You also stuffing yourself with the motivational reading. That it was not fair to compare the rhythm of your life with the others’. That marriage is not the only destination and get married will not make you be more significant. Vice versa, that choosing not to married can make you better than them as well. You’re starting to open your mind that marriage is no longer the only thing that can define a person.

Marriage is more like a destination of place that is listed in the map of a traveler.

Maybe people will choose that site today, tomorrow, this year, or even not at all. Maybe he or she wants to get there but he or she is still gathering strategies, costs, funding, and other things to get there. Maybe he or she is eager to visit the destination, but just unable to do so, either because he or she run out of energy, run out of time, out of funds, or indeed feel … no need to get hurry. Just as a traveler who chooses to visit Venice than Paris. People who choose to go to Venice are no better than those who visit Paris. Also those who visit Paris are not better than those who go to Venice. Because basically it’s just a matter of the ability and willingness.

Marriage should not be an indicator of the success or failure of a person.

When you are married is not necessarily you are more successful than others. Also if you are not married yet it doesn’t mean you are more free than those already holding husband or wife. And so it goes you’re looking for facts to try to comfort you that it’s really fine if you’re still lying alone in a room, scrolling along your Instagram, laughing while watching the romantic comedy series, while your friends are out there are busy preparing for their wedding, choosing the type of card invitations, fitting their wedding dresses, or tasting food for their wedding party. It really doesn’t matter. But you are aware, there remains a vacuum in your heart when you remember … you’re the only one left while all of your friends have found a part of their love story.

You are the only one, literally.

But then you go back to bed, lying down, laughing again, because you feel … it’s not a problem, even though it’s a problem … you’re too tired to make an issue. And you just laughing again, try to comfort your own self.

Is not life should be just as simple as that?