Here Is For You Who Is Thinking To End Your Life

Dear you,

I understand that this life is tough, rough, and sheer. As well as I know that not everyone notice about it. Many times we lose our grip and go astern being a sophist who seems lose our way. Not a few times we have to let go things we love the most. Often we feel like we are far left behind compared to our surrounding. We think that we are the only one whose life is messed up. Our visions and dreams are scattered everywhere and it seems like it’s too hard to put those all back together. Every step we take seems like brings us nowhere. Our goal is getting farer that it seems impossible to reach it. It’s like there is no point of waking up every morning.

I know that you might be hard to see the light in the end of tunnel. It seems like you are blinded, all you can see is darkness. All you can hear is an uproar of annoying noise. And all you can do is just sitting in the back of your locked door, wondering if it’s better for you not to be born at all. You feel pointless, wasted, and unavailin. A fool for one’s pains.

I do see that at this very time, you are getting numb. You can’t feel your own feeling, you can’t touch your own heart, and you can’t see your own shadow. You really don’t have any idea of how to live like a normal being. Even breathing seems like a hard work for you. You don’t want to see a mirror because you just hate yourself so much that you can’t even see your own reflection.

And dear you,

I can surely understand that when you come to the very bottom of your life like this, you might leave of your own senses. You only want to be alone but you are also obsessed to get along with people. You want to laugh hard as much as you want to cry out loud. You want to love and to be loved but you also hate everybody so much, even your parents and your friends. You feel like being alienated. You think that the universe never get along with you. You feel alone in these crowded earth.

And at this very climax of your suffering heart, I understand that you start thinking you are a messed, ripped, and cluttered. Your self is broken in pieces but nobody can see it. You begin to wonder if you are getting crazy and abnormal. You are scared of ended up by having a mental illness and everyone will just leave you eventually. In fact, each of us somehow surely have a certain kind of psychological disorder. And it’s not just you.

And dear, I also know when you are walking through the high bridge, you might think to just jump. Or when you hand a knife while slicing a meat, you might think it’s better for you slicing your wrist instead. Or when you pour a disinfectant, the thought of drinking it up ever crosses your mind. You think, what’s the point of surviving now when you no longer have a reason to keep breathing.

I really understand it well.

But dear, I tell you something. A secret that you might never think before.

If you are thinking that your life is lost and your steps lead to nowhere, just being a wanderer. Many times, a wanderer will find their own special place that nobody knows it. If you are thinking that you don’t understand your own feeling, just talk to them. Sometimes, talking to your own self is the best way to getting know your own feeling.

And if you are thinking of how ripped you are, that’s what makes you a masterpiece. Your each piece is worth more than anything and that’s what makes you special.

Life is hard, I know. You feel like you can’t hang on because it’s too much loads on your back, I know. You think that no one can understand you, maybe you just need to communicate it. Don’t supress your burdens alone. People are there for you.

And if you think that quitting your life is a best solution; it ain’t.

Dear you,

If you are feeling too tired to continue your life, too exhausted to open your eyes, just take times to rest. Do whatever you like. If you want to sleep, go sleep. If you want to get wild and scream out loud, just do it. If you want to go somewhere expensive, just go. All you need to do is don’t quit. Don’t cut your life. Don’t finish it now. Because someone somewhere out there is hoping to have you in their life.

So, stay alive and stay breathing.


It’s Time To Walk Away From Those Who Only Think You As An Option

You are not a paper test on the high school. Your life is not a multiple choices that people can only pick you as an option. You are not an object among items on the market alley. Your existence is not without a unique purpose that people can consider you just as the same with other.

You are obviously not a karaoke voucher given at the end of the year. You breathe for a reason that people can not use you only when they are convenient.

You are not a rest area along a distant highway. Your presence is not a pit stop that people can come and go without thinking to stay at all. You are not just a random number in the old cell phone. You might be available all the time but not for those who only think of you when they are lonely and alone.

You are definitely not a spare tire hanged on the back of a car. You can be everyone’s rescuer but it doesn’t mean you are only people’s back up, people’s plan B.

You are not a giggling doll sold in the Ebay. You might always want to entertain people but not for those who call you on the night when they are sober but then forgetting you on the next morning.

And seriously, you are not a customer service of the cable tv provider you subscribed. You can pick up anyone’s call any time but not for those who call you only when they have a bonus package.

Who do they think they are?

You know what, no one in this life wants to be considered only as an option. Each of one do want to be someone’s priority, or at least with the equivalent dose we prioritize them. We want to be wanted just as much as we want them. Equally because life should be balance. Even we know that life is about choosing an option, it doesn’t mean you can let people always treat you only as their option.

You deserve to be someone’s today’s special, just like how special a chef thinking and treating you as a good table, everyday.

You are worth more than being a daily topic list on your favorite website, you are worth as an editorial’s pick just as much as editorial team pick deliberately to serve you as the only one, everyday. You deserve to be someone’s signature dish that they put a huge effort just to get you and when they do, they will feel satisfied and enough.

Yes. Always being an option are tiring, exhausting, and irritating.

It is when you think you will be the first person who hears someone’s good news but then you only know it from other people, worse than that, someone’s social media. It is when you think you will be the only one who is invited for the special concert but then you know that someone decides to go with someone else. It is when you up all night and wait for someone’s call but after a week there was just nothing. And then when you try to accept the reality that you are only someone’s option, they just pop up in your life again without feeling guilty.

Seriously, who do they think they are?

For those who can only make a fool of your kindness and existence in their lives, show them that you are not.

Show them that you can survive without them. Show them that your life even brighter without they are living in it. That you are so much happier and it’s more than okay not to have them in your life. Because once they consider you only as an option, they will never take you as a priority.

And you have to show them that you worth as a priority. But if they still can’t see it, it’s the right time to walk away.


Dear All Women, Regardless Your Messy Self, You Still Are So Much Worth

For you who silently cry in the bathroom every night, try to hide your tears, just because he says that you are not good in your dress or any other clothes you pick to wear.

For you who always stare at the mirror and doubt yourself, just because he never tells how beautiful you are and keeps criticizing your look instead.

For you who always try so hard by wearing a mask, a thick one, just so you can be able to please him by being someone else he idealizes the most, and he keeps comparing you to her.

For you who often hold back the pain and calm your emotion down, every time he only focuses to talk about himself without even try to ask your opinion.

For you whose self-esteem is actually wounded, just because he always highlights himself and his life as the most important and best one, and he thinks that yours is not.

For you who actually feel tired of never expressing yourself, just because he never gives you any chance of that, he does not even think you deserve one.

For you who sob yourself out every night on the edge of your bed, every time he does not give you any call, any text, but keep updating himself over his social media, partying with other girls.

For you who never miss any second on the rack of your insecurities, wondering if you are enough for him, just because he seems always feel does not quite satisfied about your both relationship.

For you who start thinking that you might already lose yourself value, just because again, he always overruns you with his wiseacre advice as if he knows everything better than you.

And girls, for you who is desperately notice that you have reached your limit but you still stuck on him, just because you think there will be no one else wanting you as he does, in fact he never does.

You are so much worth for every own and way.

You are a significant one that no one can judge you just based on the price of your shoes, or the color of your skin that he might think does not fit with your dress.

You are a pulchritudinous without needing any validation from other that even he tells that you do not have any curves, or your curves ain’t really good, just goddamn throw those words away.

You are an authentic pure human being live on this earth, that even Adam Levine marries Behati Prinslo, you do not really need to push yourself trying to copy her.

You are a harmoniously chic river flow on the mountain, that you deserve to keep your mental hygiene fine and well without anyone else trying to contaminate you, not even him.

You and your life are a precious one which resulted from the selection of thousands or even million sperms, that God only choose you to have a gasp in this life.

You are a super massive blast which sparkles spread over the beautiful night skies, that no one can hold you to show up your shining light, not even him.

You and the time that you have are having a great value that does not deserve to be wasted just for waiting his enunciation because he is not the daily newspaper you subscribed.

You are born with a meaningful purpose in your own life, that is not always about him because you are not satisfactory machine for him, you have your own mission.

You are a genuine, strong, and independent woman that has already chosen your value, that no one can hold your step back and take a granted for everything you are.

And dear beautiful creature with a full bless who read this now, you are worth more than a guy who only can drag and let your wings down, let him go.

Because dear, there is no point of keeping someone who can not give you a guarantee of being your own self. There is no point of surviving a relationship that can not make us love and see our own selves.

You do not really need someone who can not help you meet and madly in love with yourself instead of pretending to be anyone else.

In which, it will only grow the insecurity and doubt within you fertile and it definitely kill your own precious inner goddess.

Let him go because you are so worth in every own and way.

Release yourself from him, break the cage that he or perhaps you have made, and please do not ever scared of waving goodbye without expecting to meet again, just fckin let him go.

Because once you can free up yourself from all of these poisonous corrosive prison, you will realize that even if you have tons of flaws, you are still beautiful in your own way.

And all you need is just someone who can respect it properly.

You  May Not Think That You Have Influenced Someone, Until…

I don’t know why people love to share their feelings and lives with me, including their problems and burdens. And when it happens, I tend to have more ears than a mouth. It’s not because I don’t care or I don’t want to respond it, I just know that at some point, people just want to be listened, to be heard. But also not few times I choose to shout my words right at the moment they talk to me. Moreover when they seek for a solution by throwing up a question. Even when I also have a problem too. 
Many times I feel like giving no solution to them and our conversation seems like end up with nothing too. But at least, I have told them what I think perhaps it is right. But you know what, some people came to me lately and they said something that’s shocking me surprisingly. It’s when they say, “I just remember what you have said to me and I did it afterward.” 
Well, what shocking me are first, I never thought that my words will stick in their mind. Second, I never expect that it would lead them to do the thing I told them to. Third, I didn’t know that it would change their lives in a better way. And last but not least, I didn’t notice that knowing this could cure my bitter feeling about life somehow.
It was when they told me that my words have changed their days, their mind, or the way they see their own lives. It was when they told me with the excitement that they are now feeling like having a direction or have found a new clearer path in their lives. And it was when they whispered to me that they have already left their bad habit such as suicidal attempts or self harming. Wow. I was speechless when they said that. It’s not just because the truth they brought, but more like I can’t believe that I could influence them that way, that deep.

It is really right if people say, “Be careful of whom you may influence.”

I now can really feel the strong power underneath. Influencing people in positive ways gives such a courage for us even when our live seems bitter. Because what, even if we feel like we are a failure, we have helped people to get rid from their previous failure. 

So, keep spreading the positive vibes and inspiring people because you might not know how you could change someone’s life.

We’re Not A Mister Grey, We Don’t (Always) Aim To Please

Likes and loves button are just little things that could represent of how much we, a human being, are really a status seeker, an approval hunter, a social climber, and an applause hunger. The notification that come from our daily social medias is just a little image of how, sometimes or perhaps often, we do things based on what people might like or love.

And I could say, it could torture us.

I personally stop acting based on what people might expect from me. Why? Simply, I’m too tired to please people.

I’m not born as Grey that live with a motto: “We aim to please.”

I did. I once a person who was very people and relationship oriented. I tended to do anything, to sacrifice anything as long as people pleased and stay with me. Did it back breaking? So much. Did I try to survive? I did. Not until something bad came. The fact that not everyone whom we please would do the same thing to us. And it’s really invidious.

I should admit that most of time when I wrote something, I always thought whether people will read it, whether they will like it, whether they have a time to even take a look at it. And what was the result? I never literally heard my own mind. I wrote because I wanted an approval, not because I wanted to deliver my thoughts. And again, it’s really exhausting.

Also, I couldn’t lie that it was a social acknowledgment drove me to perform outstanding. I wanted to be seen as someone above average, mostly from my big family. I wanted them to see me because of the scholarship I got. It’s like a compensation for my previous failure. I wanted people to see me arising after falling. I hungered for their confession. And what did happen? I felt buried and sunk when they didn’t give me any of it.

I felt like I was never good enough just because they never see me.

Until I watched some successful people in some professions, such as an author. One of the most remarkable words I ever heard comes up from the author of A Fault in Our Stars, John Green. He said:

“Don’t try to write a novel for being famous or for getting a lot of money. Write it as a gift for your reader.”

That really strucks. And also from one of my favorite famous local writer who said, “Just write well. Don’t think that people will hate it or not,” she also quoted others’, “remember that you write because you want something that you can’t read anywhere.”

There, I started to notice something important. There, I stopped doing things because I seek for an applause or credits.

I write words not because I want them to agree with me, but as to they could understand what inside my mind. I decide something not because I want people on my side, but so that they could see the way I choose and not hampering. I do things not because I want people love me, but in order to let them see me the way I am, even if they perhaps hate me and remind me if I do a bad thing. I cut down a habit to give too much and keep my circle small so that I would know who the real ones and who are not.

In short, I try not to care a loves and likes any more, because people is just people, number is just number, and it’s only us who know which one is better for ourselves, it’s only us who will bear the consequence from the decision we take, and it’s not them. I try to think, I do kind things for my own good, not for other.


7 Practical Ways To Heal The Pain That Too Much In Our Heart

Some leading digital medias are now shooting their onslaught campaigns against social hate speech and hoax posts. And I thought that even my posts couldn’t be implied in which categories, yet for some people it might seem too harsh or too negative. That’s why now I’d like to share what I, my friend, and of course you can do to heal or to overcome the pain and the falling of your own self esteem. To bring back your mood in a healthy threshold.



#1: Allow ourselves to feel the emotion

That’s the very first thing we need and obviously would do after experiencing bad moments in our lives. Either it’s a failure, betrayal, or heartache. What I’ve got from my experience was that don’t you try to war against it. It ain’t worth powder and shot. It will just go wasted if we force ourselves not to feel it. Just like Khalil Gibran said, “Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.” The more we let ourselves admitting that we are on such a terrible pain, the more we will understand what thing could harm us. So that we could play safe and learn from it later on.


#2: Tell it to the right person

This is also important because we need to channel our feeling. We need to share our tragedy with someone whom we believe could enlighten everything. Not someone who make it worse instead. It could be our parents, our siblings, our (truly) best friends, even someone that probably ain’t in our inner circle, but he or she could comfort us with their wise words. From my experience itself, firstly I would just go seeking  supporting persons. Those who could respond us furiously like they also feel the same pain. Because it really helps us on finding a social support. But when everything has finally been calmer, I would just talk with person who could give an objective opinion, a wise one.


#3: Do whatever could make you happier

We tend to feel exhausted and run off energies after been moaning like that. Then when we come to this point, that’s a sign that we need to refuel ourselves. We could do anything that could lift up our spirit, let’s say by eating our favorite macha ice cream, singing our favorite songs, binge watching all our favorite movies or dramas, even taking a workouts. Anything, and while doing it, just don’t let ourselves thinking. Just do it.


#4: Fill in the jar with compliment papers

There sure would be a part of us blaming ourselves because of that bad tragedies happened to us. Probably we think: I should never let him come to my life, I should have just being rude if eventually people would just think I was, or whatsover. This would be corrosive if it happen over and over. This seriously could harm our self esteem because probably we will end up on thinking we’ll never be good enough for us or for people. That’s why, we need to try this technique.

So, it says that we could take an empty mason jar then we put a compliment on a paper every time ourselves do something good. For instance, I was trying to have a workouts again after been a while, then I jot it on paper: Dear body, thanks for trying to have a workouts again!


#5: Read motivational books or quotes

If we find ourselves still famished for something that could boost up our spirits, then try to hunt it outside. By reading something positive, such as easy bitsy novels, books, tweets of motivating people, even quotes. It truly will help!


#6: Block their ways for several times

If after been contemplating and seeking an advice from people yet we still found that they’re just too much and it was not us, of course, we’re allowed to cut the rope, for a temporary time or for… ever. No one could insult us in any way. We’re the one who live our lives. So, my friend told me, just like what William Traynor ever said to Louisa Clark: “Don’t let that one thing be the thing that defines you.


#7: Let your self forgive

Last, the hardest part. No religion approve the hatred. Forgiveness is something noble that we always have to pursue. In spite of our deep pain, furious anger, and unforgettable hatred, we eventually will have to let ourselves forgive. Remember, “The ability to forgive is the one man’s greatest achievements,” Bryant McGill said.

When I Hit The Unfollow and Block Button More Often

I finally let my self hitting the unfriend, unfollow, or even block button more often than I used to be. It might sound coward, yes I know. But here’s my reason doing it.



I realized that I was dying on being as kind as I could to people. I behaved like what my social circles always expected as a human being. I did anything even sacrificed as long as they were happy. I gave my self in order keeping our relations remained. I always showed a supportive part of my self, lots and very much. But then something pounded me. They ain’t did good things as a return for me. Well, I usually say that expectation kills. But, I never expected them to do something equally as a payback, just please be well. But, contrary, some of them even kicked my back with the sweetest diabetes smiles on their faces. Then they asked like they cared, “Are you alright?”

Then, there came the point in my life that I started to re-think every concept I had before. Not as a pessimist, but more as someone who loves his or her self that much.

I don’t wanna let people keep hitting, stabbing, kicking, and mocking my self esteem. I ain’t gonna let my self drowned for it.

Because it could get worse and of course it will irritate me even more on every aspect in my precious self image.

And, yeah, even if I know that unfriend-ing or blocking or erasing someone from our social medias or messenger applications couldn’t really remove the pain they made, or the scratches of our relations. It neither meant that we literally cut off the rope of our contacts by doing that.

But, at least, it’s a form of you respecting your own self, you know?

Like, you would stop seeing their names on your feeds, stop reading their thoughts on your timelines, stop unconsciously keeping up with their daily lives, that every when it happened, you couldn’t bear the pain they left on you. That perhaps, they didn’t even realize they did and they just continued their lives, that you must admit, it really could harm your egos.

Well, I don’t suggest you to start deleting all of your ‘enemies’ out there. Because, it would also ended up with you feeling so isolated and alienated from life. And I also don’t offer an opposite advice from before. Still, for me, having a kind heart is a good thing.

But, being nice doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to purify your self. It’s legally allowed for you, sometimes, to hit the unfriend, unfollow, or even block button.

Just, yeah, so that you could begin a real life for your recovery self, that actually your heart deserve it.


So, if you find my posts have been irritating you lately, you’re allowed to unfollow me.

I Tell Her: Hand The Knife Back To Them Because They Will Need It Again Soon


And so here I tell you the story.

About someone who thought be friend with someone else. She did the good thing in a technical and practical ways. She gave things they asked properly. She never thought anything but they were a part of her another circle friends. That people also never looked up to not good, nor bad, not antagonist, neither protagonist. Just like that. Because the thought about dramatic backstabber and stuffs never crossed her mind. Yet. Until one day, someone she trusts the most told her.

They are not.

It perhaps took several seconds for her to absorb every hurt words, every painful facts she told her. Even it took a little effort to wipe off and bear the bleeding because of the knife they stabbed onto her back. She just couldn’t believe that someone like that did exist. She thought that kind of people only live in a tale of some Disney’s stories, like a villain. Or she thought that it must be an important and precious thing that made someone could unsheathe a broad-bladed knife to someone else, onto her or his back, of course without s/he knew it.

Then I tell her these things.

The very first thing is that they ain’t (and never been) her friends.

I know this will hurt her feeling even harder. But she must notice. She did not lose friends, the fact is that she must realize that actually she never be friended with them. It’s not just because they hang around or laughed or spent the times with her meant they are her friends.

Some people are just so skillful of putting their masks on and pretending in order to catch and exploit many benefits from others. Then, she asked me again, how I could tell this. Of course, you could see it crystal clear. The real friends will be with you with or  without needs. It ain’t because they want you to help their works, nor always because they want something for you. The real friend will laugh with you for your jokes or funny things you both experience, not because they think that is the only way to make you feel like they’re your friend. It isn’t the need that becoming a drive of two people who state their relation as a friend, but an understanding. And also, the real ones will stay the same even if you’re no longer have a benefit for them.

Second, most of the betrayal and back-stab experiences ain’t come from enemies.

I know, this is bitter. But that’s true. I told her, she would never feel this hurt if she thought them as enemies rather than friends. And that’s why much people call it as a betrayal. Because one day you ever put your trust a lot and the other day you find out that they break it. The other different is that, I tell her, why she feels this unease, because the ones who back-stabbed her aren’t her enemies, they would seem like hug her first instead of attack her. That’s why she never prepared beforehand. So, be very careful with people now. It’s good to be kind with everyone, but just don’t expect them to do the same thing for you. Remember, expectation kills us.  And also, there are a lot of people like ‘Oh I will laugh and seem to have fun with Hillary so that I could praise Trump later’.

Third, I also learn from her story that life isn’t about who is real to our faces, but more about who is real behind our backs.

You can’t call some people as friends without proving it with your absence. The real one will not offend or defend you in your absence. They will told the truth and the very first thing, they will stand up for you, for good or for bad. It doesn’t mean they will always defend you like they are your advocates. They will just say the truth and crosscheck it to you later. So, if there’s someone who act contrary, don’t be surprised. There are some people who could be a friend with the ear, then enemy with the mouth.

Fourth, oh come on dear, you know what, the knife that they used, it would just be useful and powerful once your back turned.

Correction, only when your back turned. Most of betrayal comes from dissatisfaction or, this is the worst one, the jealousy. I know, it sounds so non sense for you, dear. But you must know, they got no power when facing you face to face. If they did, why ain’t they ask you for battle rather than stabbing your back, then? So, just stop blaming yourself because you have taken a wrong thought about their attitudes. Having a good heart isn’t a bad thing, having a good fake friend is.

And last but not the least, I have to tell her about the knife and the hole on her back because of the stabbing.

This will hurt, but you have to pull the knife out, bear the pain, cure the hole, and use the knife to cut off the tie between you and them, then hand it back to them.

Believe me, they’re gonna need it to back-stab other people soon. Because, for the deadbeats, losers, gossipers, nay-sayers, dream-crushers, passive-aggressive backstabbers, and an exploiters, once they did it to you, they will just do it to the other. And their lives will always be like that such a circle. Nothing’s really good will upgrade their lives, not without stabbing other’s back first and taking the benefit from it.

And for you, I know this sounds cheesy and classic, but just let it go.

You have a bigger world, why bother to get it ruined by the people like them? Be more mature and forgive them. Once more, having a good heart is not a bad thing.

The Tale For All The Brave Wanderer Who Still Seeking For A Way

This is for the worry that crawls almost every time you close your eyes.

And for the futility people think about what you’ve taken this long.
And for the inferiority at the moment you’re seeing other’s joy.
Also for all of your bewilderment over this conundrum of existence.
And for the endless clueless query nestles in your mind.

This is for the huge irritating vacuum on your empty heart.

And for the deep dark sorrow than ends up with a tear drop on your cheeks.
And for the stuffiness that seems so tight till you can’t breathe any longer.
Also for the powerful dejection detains your heavy eyelids in the night.
And for all of your mystify prayers that seem getting more out of question.

This is for the fighter who feels so lost on your own way home.

And for the wanderer trapped in the mislead maze of aimless direction.
And for the loner falls out of love with the sacred solitude.
And for the unrequited lover decides to full cease the affectionate feeling.
Also for the former champion stands by the break-point of giving up.
Because you feel like all the good things are behind you;

It’s the time to stop grin and bear it. It’s the time to stop hold it back, to stop over.

Even a seat-belt needs looseness so that the passenger could feel more ease.
Even a makeup has a second to be cleaned off and gives the skin time to breathe.
And even a kite yarn needs a little extend so that it could go up higher to the sky.

You shan’t be too hard to your self.

This is only a perishable fleeting life of human being.

Every second out soars-taken by your worries, you will just feel less and less happy.
Any when you push your self too strong, you will just feel weaker and weaker.
And at the time you over blame your self,
for all the mistakes you make, all the wrong steps you take, all the failure you do, all the weakness you own, all the dirt you get, and all the feeling of having fallen behind;

you eventually will just feel so execrable and nasty about your self.

This is the time to put off your tiring mask.

And stand up with your lovely pretentious infirmities.
Dance and jump with the spec and granule of your every follicle.
Go, chase and sweep up the beautiful rainbow that appears after the rain.
Oh, and there are always the sun and the blue sky soon after the storm subsides.
And the moon dust and the lucent stars spread on a wonderful rug of a night skies.
They are your truly companions.

They are belong to an extraordinary supreme charming creature like you.

Drop off your wild-goose to seek for an approval,
or for a needless answer,
or for a satisfying compliment,
or for a love and like buttons,
you’re not gonna need it any more;
because those are already yours.
Whiff, gulp, and sniff in the air around you.
And oh darling, don’t grip things too hard.

I’ll tell you once more,

they are already planted in your self.

Soak out the life you spend the very second now.
All the burden and load on your shoulders, you don’t need to suffer any longer.
Every thing that fated belong to you will be yours no matter how,
Every one that intensely love you will stay with you;
even your flame is extinguished,
even your mascara and lipstick don’t look good again on you,
even your jokes and words go dry,
and even your glare don’t glow any more.

So, just sing along the lullaby and ballad of life you love the most.
Your spellbound light will ablaze and shine enlighten the way.

And I am glad that you finally just are.

Because Not Everyone Has To Be A Main Character in Our Lives, And It’s Really Okay


Have you ever counted how many people you’ve ever met in this life during your age, how many faces you’ve ever seen when crossing paths or dreaming in the night, how many name of them that ever stopped off on your mind maybe when you both met in the events, a week seminar, or just had a cup or two conversation and you never met them again?

I believe that we all start as stranger in every kind of relationships we have.

A friendship, a work partner, a relationship, a flirtationship, even siblings. We all started with knowing nothing about each other. Actually, this kind of wander always show up every time I’m on the end of any kind of relationship I got. I always rewind the time how we met. The first impression I had about someone. How they greeted me or maybe just ignored me like they didn’t wanna talk with me. Then as the time goes by, as the time we spend together, we become know each other little by little. Maybe the chat started with our same favorite singer, our same opinion toward bombing issues, our debate of something that led us into a closer relationship, or even the hard time that embraced us together.

And from that day on, the stranger that we knew before turned into our friend, our best friend, or even our lover. Actually it’s easy to change someone’s status for us. Time. The more time especially hard time we spent with them, the more closer and deeper we got along with them. The more deeper we knew them, the more we were far afield as a stranger for each other anymore. We got a new story, they got it too with ourselves within theirs. Vice versa. But sadly, it’s also so easy for someone we knew well turned into stranger for us. Maybe we used to talk with them over the night till the late 2 A.M. then they just never talked to us anymore in the next days, not even texted us. Maybe we often hangout with them like we won’t ever run out of time then they just don’t wanna see us anymore.

I experience it a lot. And so do you. We all have someone who used to know us so well that now become a very stranger for us. And in this life, it’s not seldom we wonder about how magical someone that was only a stranger become so intact and close to us right now.

But one thing that I believe. There’s always a purpose of we meeting persons in this life, even only for a while. It’s like—there’s always a motives behind our meeting with a stranger. You know. Like when you’re up to wait the train to come, and you have a small talk with stranger. Or when we ever become a friend with someone. Or when we ever trapped in flirtationship. Every kind of ‘coincidental meeting’ always takes us into a bit story in our lives. Those persons, those strangers are like a cameo in or own story. They left nothing but a little touch of our lines. And it’s okay to have them.