To All Women, Here Is Why You Must Keep Your Career On Track After Getting Married

Nothing is more blissful than being a wife of someone who love you so much.

Someone who might give you tons of promises to always be together since he gives you a ring. That sacred ring where all your waiting ends. And you believe him because this was one of your ultimate goals; to get married and build a family. When you finally say yes, everything in your world turns a little different. Getting money and a job promotion are no longer on your first list. Showing off your hectic life in your office story is no more interesting for you.

That’s why you don’t feel anything when you have to give the resignation letter to your boss. Even if your boss ensures you with the question, “You are on the top of your career, are you sure to do this?” You nod without any hesitation. So what? Because you have a real life now. The life you have been dreaming of; being his Mrs.

The comeback from your sweet honeymoon might still feels a dreamlike. Waking up beside him and still sometimes can’t believe yourself that you are now his. Watching and cuddling with him beneath the warm and cozy blanket. And then voluntarily move to prepare for his breakfast before he works. And still, it feels like a dream comes true. Posting all your breakfast and daily newlywed’s activities almost everyday because you want to share the happiness you have with him. Your one and only husband. You want the world know.

You don’t mind even if you spend your entire 20s life to chase that degree which only ends up in this kitchen. You have no objection to agree with what he ask that it’s better for you to fully stay at home. All day long. Cleaning the house, sometimes doing grocery shopping, learning new skills of how to be a great wife on the kitchen and bed, and sometimes just flicking to the television on the couch.

You are happy and there’s no need to wonder.

And then you are now having his baby in your tummy. The little him. You will soon to be a mother and he looks more than wonderful to know it. He takes care of you very much because he just anxious if something happen with the baby. Until your due date comes and he accompanies your labor. And then it’s a perfect package of complete happiness; A little family. What a sweet story everyone dreams of.

But you know what, it’s not because I am being a sarcastic or pessimist that I have to tell you the bitter part. The other story you might never watched before because perhaps you’ve been living in a very peaceful bunch of families and neighborhood along this time. The truth is that;

I have been witnessing many women in my life suffering after the passing of their husband.

Not only because of the death tear them apart, but also because of divorce. Some might end up with the grief they try to cope, some struggle so hard to strike a blow for their certainty of legal issues, some fight to win back their own property things, and some just try to keep breathing like a normal when they definitely can’t.

This somehow reminds me of what my mom ever said, “Never cease your career life even if you have a rich husband and he promises to vouched for your entire life.” And when I asked why, she didn’t answer. But now I got it.

Surviving your career life after getting married isn’t only about keeping the money flows, but also maintaining your networking.

I know, you can still have a certain kind of society without being an employee. But this case, I talk about the opportunity and doors that might open for you. With or without your husband meddled with. It’s okay to cut down your very busy schedule by re-negotiating your position with your boss if it’s possible. Rather than giving it up at all. It’s okay not to give your time as much as when you were still single. Because you have to take care your household life.

But again, if you’re now a career woman and getting married with someone, I think you need to reconsider if you want to change from a full time employee into a full time wife.

Let’s just talk the sorest part we never want to face. If someday, something happen with your marriage, and your husband leaves you in a situation in which you are a full time wife, either forever or for other woman, and he doesn’t leave any penny for you, what will happen with you and perhaps your children? Are you going to give up being a mother for them?

I’m sure you won’t unless you still have a Cinderella’s mother lineage.

The main benefit if you keep your career on track after married is surely in your financial life. You might have to handle your husband’s money, but you have your own. You can either use it to support him or just spend it for your fun. The other advantage is on your self-esteem, how you value yourself as not only a wife but also a woman separated from your married life. Yourself still have a high price even if you’re no longer single. Out of the Mrs. title in front of your name, you have your intellectual badass mind, a sexy brain, and a youthful skills of work, and of course piles of professional experiences that many companies willing to buy.

Means, if the bitter scenario of your marriage runs, you still can be alive with a normal breathing. You might struggle as a single parent, but not as hard as those who decided to cut off their career. You might face a rocky way to maintain your household needs, but not as hard as those who doesn’t even have anything to sale.

So, all the Mrs. soon to be, being a career woman doesn’t mean you are an alpha independent who doesn’t know where your root as a wife, but it shows that you always have a backup plan. Because nothing is sure in this life. You need to be ready for every kind of change.



This Is Why I Always Have A Soft Spot For Creative Jobs (Like So Much!)

One of the most frequent question people throw to me is that how could I land myself in my current career? And I never have other answer than it just happens. But now I am getting know it.


I am actually confused of how surprised people knowing that I choose to eventually develop my self in a media and advertising field rather than jobs that relate with my former major, psychology. Because as I widen my networking, I become know that much of people experience the same thing;

Going further but faster out of their real paths.

And in my perspective, a bachelor psychology is much relate with any jobs that consist of human relationship, right?


But do you really want to know why I become madly in love with these whole different path career, which is in a creative industry field?

Because they appreciate people based on the talent and skill we have, not based on a shitty sheet thing that full of numbers and requirements that sometimes end up in a dustbin.


I might feel sorry of being sarcastic but this is true. And maybe, my college friends do feel the same.


It’s not that I have never been trying to grab a job in my major that mostly in Human Resources. I did, at a very time after I graduated. With a powerful spirit of pretension getting a settled job as at least recruitment staff. But believe it or not, with the Cumlaude title on my certificate, I could not even get a call out from a hundred resumes I sent. Wow, life is hard, I know.


Up until now, I still have no idea how they were not attracted with the numbers, the certificates, the achievements, the experiences that I cattered for them. Some say that it was because some companies are too scared to hire an over-qualified person. That was why I wasn’t sold well. And that is also why it still doesn’t make sense for me, at all.


Fortunately, I always have an eyes for media and journalistic since I was in a high school. I have been so active in a media event and have a dazzling interest in writing. So, I just tried making an attempt on that field. With my very poor and amateur writings, I applied for some magazines and advertising agencies company. And shockingly, out from five resumes that I sent, they all called me. Woah.


Attending their interviews, I had a time when it’s hard for me to decide which offer that I would take. Yes, I turned from someone who didn’t even have an appeal into the most wanted one (at least for those five companies). I chosed to join with an advertising agency which was a startup and worked for a year there.


Asking to the person who hired me, he said that he had a feeling I might have a talent to develop, regardless the zero experience I brought that time. The interesting part is that they didn’t even ask me which university I graduated. They didn’t care if I was an awardee of popular scholarship or if I was the best graduate of my program.

All they put an attention was only my writing and the willingness I had.


For some of you maybe think that this is unfair. But for me, this is how I feel like we are all being equal in a creative industry. It’s not your certificate numerical things or the university you were from that matter, but what you have in your creative mind and how you could bring it on for them. The other interesting point is that, at least in companies that ever hired me, they would spare a time and energy to train and develop your zero experience self if you could show them your high motivation.

It’s not like ‘I like your university and your qualifications, let’s work with me’ but more like ‘I know you have a talent and you want to improve, let’s work together’.

Once they have an instinct that you might be able to contribute a lot by being improved, they wouldn’t doubt to let you work with them.


But, I also have to admit that there are always a two-side coin of everything in this life, so does a creative jobs. Because the talent, skill, and ability are very considerable in this field, and also the wheel is always rolling, you can’t take a granted for the competitiveness. We are demanded to always open our mind, see our surrounding, and never feel enough of ourselves. To adjust with the expansion of era.

But that’s just how I still and will always a soft spot for this career field. What about you?

The Upside Down Today: Girls Take Out The Trash and Boys Do The Cooking


If America has Hilary and Trump, Indonesia has Ahok and Risma.

The race position which have been widely reported presents a different view of world switching an old fangled paradigm into a new one. Apart from the political context that always decking out the jockeying chair of state, we could see the chances of equality between women and men nowadays. An open-mind leads people to settle for every possibility with an open hands. The assumption that women should only be in the kitchen and do the cooking while men earn a living is no longer dominating.

The feminist movements begin to squirm everywhere. They demand for a fair treatment for their people and clearly against a harshness or abuse that might still occur in some social segments. It’s good somehow. The question is—what if the situation ain’t equal anymore but inverted?

What if men are now more likely to stay at home while women go out to work instead?

This obviously sparkle debates for some people with certain beliefs. Those who believe that somehow men still have to be a patriarchs. Still must be the breadwinners. That’s more proper for women staying at home and devoting herself  to her husband rather than going out seeking for pennies for their families. It’s also not a few couples who later argue because of this kind of different perception. The issue of who should bear more household expenses or who should have more frequent pick or drop-off their children to school often rise.

In fact, we have to realize that the high of economical burden in household things and an open working opportunities for women today should also be a consideration in this issue. It seems that the walls restricting the women personal growth and development better be demolished or at least reduced. Especially for you who live in democratic and free states. Either it’s a job or education, whilst there are many things opened can be pursued without abandoning the fundamental of being woman, why not? Go open that door, take a look at the wide opportunity, track the streets of possibilities for a better life. This is all for the brighter future of our children, right? Go grab your chances.

#Dilemmatalk: Can Passion and Money Really Live Side by Side?


Some say, not everything that we want are actually what we need. So, one thing that makes people so lucky is when they can get what they want and need at a time. Unfortunately, two things that we talk about sometimes seem can’t live in line for some people. They need money, of course, to keep holding their lives. But however, they also need to undergo what they love in this life, thing that we use to call as passion, just to keep them mentally fertilized. It’s funny when someone ever asked me, “Is it true that we cannot get both of those—that is money and passion—at once?” We’re talking about the job we’d just got anyway.

The question was never intrigued me at first. I was just feeling lucky to be earned for doing things that’s my passion. Despite the truth that I bet my reputation and prestige to draw a path out of my truest territorial. I didn’t care anyway. But it was long time before the state of fire attacked. The fact came a little bitter, I actually didn’t really get what I needed though I’d done what I really passion about. It’s true, especially for us who are still making a first stone in our career, we really have to choose:

Are we going to insist in the ideals of our highest passion or pawn it for the sake of our better future savings?

Let’s take some examples then. Kyle is a man who really loved music. But however, because of social pressure, he took up study of law and accomplished it. But, for the sake of his happiness, he’s still pursuing his musical career despite he knew his future is not so good in that path. He tried not to complain about having a aweful income than his colleagues.

Then it’s Ian who is a medical graduates despite he actually have a passion on design. He knew, he can’t let go the study he’s been fighting just for the sake of design career. He’s then willing to run the day-to-day as a doctor but didn’t really happy doing it. In that case, Kyle might get his passion but not his savings, while Ian gets savings but not catch his passion.

It’s clearer now, right?

Sometimes life pushes us to choose between passion or money. Then how can we run both of them simultaneously? Like what we talk in the beginning, how lucky people who are able to get both of those. Well, how do you think?